God is not something you see if you are looking up

ma·ma (noun) as defined by me

  1. A title as one’s mother meaning center of the universe. As used by “I want Mama”, “Mama says”, “Your mama would know what to do”, “Where does Mama keep your medicine”, “Mama, I’m sick”
  2. Used as to describe an unstoppable force capable of greatness, whose sole purpose is keep her family safe by any means necessary, including self sacrifice.
  3. My wife, my best friend, my center of gravity. As used by “My children are my religion and my wife is the savior”.
  4. Rio Bennet Greenwald’s and Ridley Paige Greenwald’s mother.

On August 27th at 10:30am, less than 24 hrs before your birth, the sun was shining, the temperature was perfect. It’s how you imagine Shangri-La to feel all the time. You may have felt a bit of a bump, a crash, even a hint there was something more to this world you knew. Your sister, who is in love with you, pointed out the bees, your mama wanted Ridley and your dog to be safe. Everything that followed was a cascading line of selflessness, strength, fortitude, and ultimately beauty.

Who knew a 4 year old, with a heart of gold, would be her parents hero. Running around the house, putting snacks together, finishing breakfast, I heard the banging. Ridley was rushed, but controlled, she explained everything, and we were with you and your mama within seconds. 911 was responsive, your nana was calm, and the medical staff at Newton Wellesley were poised.

Rio Grande

I’ve been through this before though, this is our second child. Kelley and I knew, but never acknowledged, we were going someplace new this time, and we were going to be taking separate cars. The staff were rushing, I wasn’t allowed in, it was eerily quiet, hours had passed, and I could see them going for help. Around 2:30 or 3pm, or 5 (I can’t remember anymore) I was given news in two parts, as it always comes. No one gives you good news twice, nor bad for that matter, that’s just called news once. Two parts contains good and bad, and I had a 50/50 shot a guessing who was which. My son was 10lbs 10oz’s, 21 inches, and extremely healthy.

It was him who I heard crying a while ago, listen to him wail. “It was a miracle he survived” or something of that nature. What do they teach us in grade school, foreshadowing. The bad news is Kelley lost a lot of blood, which is obvious since everyone, including the floor, is covered in it. “The most I’ve ever seen”… Easy arithmetic, blood leaking exceeded platelets that clot. “All we can do is wait and pray”..

I’m not a religious person, nor am I one in crisis (as I learned). I believe, don’t get me wrong, I just don’t believe in looking up. I believe in your mother. Not because I want to or will it, lets not be naive, rather she is hands down one of the toughest people I know and I know she lives for her children.

It’s beautiful when you can look deep inside yourself and truly know what’s there. For the next whatever hours I was figuring out how I raise a 4 year old and an infant to the level I was expected by your mother, make her proud of me, with no other option on the table. For the next whatever hours, apparently, your mother who was supposed to be heavily sedated and intubated, was pissing off ICU staff, pulling at wires, sign languaging commands, and asking for pen and paper.

Riddles and Rio

Before I finally got to see her around 9:30 or 10pm, I got to be with you. We met around 3 and for the next 5ish hours I knew nothing else. You didn’t cry, you didn’t fuss, you brought me peace and gave me purpose.

Brother (name) as defined by me

  1. Of whom the name Rio is given
  2. Someone whose sister loves him and cares
  3. Son, who sometimes can be referred to as Sun, who makes his parents smile.

Your sister, as I was checking in, was being the best girl she could be and was so excited to meet you and love you. Made for tv dramas have this recipe. Start with 4 separate story lines, build up character’s reputation, then start slowly joining the story lines, destroy character reputations to build up new ones through background stories, end at some magic moment, shed a lot of tears. Somehow I ended up in a fucking made for tv drama, which is ironic once you get to know me.

Sister (noun) as defined by me

  1. Of whom the name Ridley is given
  2. My hero, my little Kelley whose strength I see in you

Riddles feeds Rio

Finally seeing and talking with your mama some 18hrs later, I couldn’t keep it together any longer. I didn’t have to, she wasn’t going anywhere. Rio, there are many things that will let you down in life, many things that will bring you up, infinite amounts of ups, downs, and surprises. Your family will never be any of those. I can promise you we are strong, we are loving, we are tireless, and going forward we hate fucking bees.

Rio Bennet Greenwald

  • 10 lbs 10 oz
  • 8/27/17 1:30pm..
  • Newton Wellesley Hospital

Welcome to the world, the world most certainly welcomes you.

Dada (as defined by “one who serves”)

p.s. Kelley had a placenta abduction that lead to DIC, she received over 11 units of blood plus platelets and more. The OB ward at Newton Wellesley was beyond amazing. Due to their planning, diligence, and the blood supply, both Rio and Kelley will be fine. He is an amazing little boy, everyone in the hospital has been so good to him. Kelley is getting constant one on one attention, and she is being a champ. I appreciate that everyone has been there for us, I wouldn’t know what I would have done without our family and friends.

p.p.s. Please give blood and platelets, I will from now on. It could save a life, maybe someone’s you love.

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